Question:
Our granddaughter would be turning 3 in February. She was stillborn to our 16 yr. old daughter (9 days overdue). My fiance's cousin delivered that same morning, a baby girl, and she is doing very well, which we are very grateful. I cannot handle being around her, and neither can our daughter, which makes family get-togethers very uncomfortable. How can we get past this? We are getting married in August and I don't want to tell her she cant bring her child, but my daughter is already having a very hard time going into the same church where we held the baby's funeral. I want this to be a great day, not one full of sadness...
Response:
I am sorry about your loss. I do not know why any child should die. It is a question for God. Please remember that you and your daughter have not died. In fact, you do not want to give death any more power and control over you. Any feelings of anger, resentment, fear, etc., are very normal grief emotions, but in a way, they are times of being subjected to the power of death. Healing is being free from the grip of death. You want to heal. Try to be happy for other family members that have children that remind you of what you do not have. Encourage yourself and each other to be around those family members -- even if it is a short time at first. Try to walk into the church -- just for a few minutes some day and just spend a moment in prayer asking God to give you strength to handle this situation. And, do not be to hard on yourself. Remember, time has never healed anyone, but time permits healing.
