Question: I lost my daughter on 12-11-10. I was 18wks pregnant and the doctor in E.R didnt know what he was doinbg and burst my water and I got a staph infection and my baby died. I thought I was getting better and I found out I was pregnant again on 4-18-11 and I had a miscarriage on 4-23-11. Now all the wounds are open again and I'm angry all over again. Do you think I just buried my grief and this made it resurface? I feel just like I did in December. I want to be in my dark room by myself.
Answer: It is way too soon for you to start second guessing yourself. This is another major loss in a short period of time. With this kind of "bereavement overload" the tendency is NOT to grieve. However, what you need to do is grieve both losses independent of each other. Let your grief flow out for the death of each child. I strongly suggest you write about your feelings for each child. There are many things you are missing because of these losses--it is time to think about them and grieve them, it is time to openly talk about them with people you can trust and who will listen. I also suggest you try to "check in" with a grief counselor who can help to keep you on track. Finally, being in a "dark room" by yourself may be ok for awhile, but life is about balance, try to get out and live your life...Dr. Canine