Question: I came to your support group last Thursday in Flint. I lost my baby at birth in December. Just can't get it together. It was the doctor's fault my baby died. He was a resident in the E.R and he didn't know what he was doing and he broke my water. But I'm still so angry and mad at the doctor. I keep having asthma attacks. I just want to be by myself in a dark room. Is that normal? I need help. I'm so sad.

Response:
It was good you went to the support group. People do care about your loss. Sometimes support group participants reach out more to those parents whose children have died--more than any other group of people. It is not necessarily normal to want to isolate yourself. There probably are times that being alone is ok and maybe even good for you. However, you need to be with people who love you and care about you. You need to talk about your child as much as possible. All grief emotions are acceptable. As for the doctor, you need to share your thoughts with a hospital administrator. If he/she was at fault, the proper administrative people should be aware of it. Anger is normal, it is how we manage the anger that is important. It should not come out in a destructive manner. The asthma needs to be checked by your personal physician. Do not be too hard on yourself, it is still too soon to draw any conclusions about the future. It is ok to be sad. Lastly, it may be time for you to seek personal counseling.