Grief- crying daily

Question:
I lost my son Michael Christian to SIDS on 5/17/2010. He was a healthy thriving 3 month old special, beautiful baby with an old soul. I am having a very hard time dealing with his loss. I have a 4 year old son also and am trying very hard everyday to show strength for his sake. I don't have good or bad days I have moments. His loss and dealing with the reality of it has me crying daily and I feel like I'm suffocating. My mind plays tricks on me having me think that he's not gone. But when I come to the reality that he's not here it pulls me deeper into a depression. At times I feel as though I'm experiencing all 5 stages of the grieving process at the same time. I just don't want to get stuck or so sick with the depression that I can't find my way back. I am seeking out individual therapy specifically for that reason but would welcome any recommendations. I have been to support groups and they help until I'm by myself and am missing my baby. I just thank GOD everyday for giving me the strength to get thru the day and that there are only 24hrs in a day. I have many family members and friends who also give me much support. I know that time heals all wounds but I am an impatient person and want the hurt to stop now. Again I would like to ask for any recommendations of support groups or books that I could seek further help from. Not only for myself but also for my 4 year old. He lost a little brother and I am worried about his mental health as well. Thank You


Response:

You said a lot in your question. Your thoughts are well organized and you were very good at identifying your feelings. Do not be hard on yourself--it has only been two months since your son died. Crying is good (medically proven), over time the crying will lessen. Time does not heal, but rather permits healing to take place. You had Michael growing in you for nine months and living outside of you for 3 months, that means you have a point of reference for the joy and happiness he brought you. Death cannot take that away. Continue to thank God for helping you through every day, and take one day at a time. Stay close to God for strength. Remember King David's prayer when his son died--"my son will not come back to me, but someday I will go be with him". The depression is temporary and circumstantial. It will lessen over time. Use your support group on a daily basis. For books to help you and your son, and for support groups, please go to the Tomorrow's Child website---there is a lot of information for you....Dr. Canine